{Night-time Circus}

Well hello there, it is the 4'oclock hour for those of you wondering. That would be the AM of course. To set the scene for you, I cannot sleep....so.... I am in my dark living room, (had to remove myself from the warm bed so Andrew could keep sleeping) I've got my very soft pink Y.E.S hoody on, which has become my favorite as of late because it is 2 sizes too big which makes it the perfect size for me right now; I'm wrapped up in my Lancer blanket (yes from Highschool, it's my favorite!) I've been nauseated, so I'm all set with my saltines (may or may not be my 3rd pack with-in the last 24hr period, sodium over-load? probably... I'm trying to quit) and I'm ready to write.

Let me preface this entry with a little fact ok? I was raised right. My Mother always taught me, if you don't have something nice to say, best not to say it at all. Well since I'm going to go there anyways, I will enforce something else she taught me in hopes of a counter-action: If you say something negative you need to say 10 positive/nice things afterwards. Let me just start out with those ten nice things so it's very clear how grateful I am.

1. I am EXTREMELY blessed to be pregnant in the first place. Such a gift from God, and I wouldn't trade it for any symptom I've had.

2. I have had a GREAT pregnancy, and I'm very lucky.

3. My body has handled all these body changes miraculously for the most part.

4. I have not thrown up once other than while having the flu.

5. I have a VERY good baby. He's turned, he has a strong heart, (and very strong legs I might add) and has done everything possible on his end for this successful pregnancy. 

6. I have a VERY good husband that has taken care of me so well during all of this. He's my biggest supporter.

7. I have amazing family and friends that always make me feel so loved, and cared for!

8. I feel I have handled my pregnancy emotions pretty well! (don't ask me why I got chocked up at the beginning of American Idol this week...lol)  I haven't had too many crazy freak-out moments where Andrew questions who he's married to, and not too many outbursts of sobbing moments. (Ok, there are probably a few people who will question that last point..oh well ha)

9. I only have a few little stretch marks!! less than one inch long, so unless Boston puts on some serious weight within the next week, I think I'm in the clear! YAY!

10. I have stayed right within my weight goal, by eating pretty healthy, drinking LOTS of water, and water only, and exercising! So happy. :)

K Mom, there's 10 nice things. Now I've got to complain about one little thing for just one minute ok?! And that is something I am going to refer to as the "Night-time Circus." Circus because it sounds a lot better than Night-time nightmare, right? Yes, so first of all, I am due any day, which means my belly is no small thing to talk about. I realize this.
This puts quite the strain on the rest of my entire body, back, hips, etc. So I require atleast 7 pillows to get "comfortable." 3 for my head ( to help with the acid reflux) one on my back, one under my belly, one between my legs, and one other small pillow for wherever else I feel is needed, If I can not find a place for it, Andrew can then have it, on what is left as "his side" of the bed. He's a very good sport.

So this actually sounds like a fluffy little heaven nest to sleep in doesn't it?! Correction: even with all the pillows I am still not comfortable, I have weird little pains constantly, OH and did I mention for one reason or another I have to roll over atleast a dozen times per night, and get up to go to the little girls room at least 3-4 times per night!  JUST to roll over, I should have to make a beeping sound warning that I am going to attempt to plop myself to my other side!! It's huge ordeal! Then I have to re-adjust alllll the pillows!! Just to figure out an hour later that side doesn't want to be laid on and I have to roll back over and adjust them alllll again!! It's exhasting!! AND YET, I cannot sleep.

Also, I am a very hot sleeper. Cold during the day, hot at night. Plus I am carrying an internal heater, so I am doubly hot at night, so we sleep with a blazing fan on, and get this, the window open! Some of you may be wanting to say, just like my husband, "But Camille, it's Winter... it's 20 degrees outside!" Yes I realize this. But I am HOT! (very sad for Andrew, he is the exact opposite, cold at night, hot during the day, so he freezes out. Have I mentioned he's a very good sport?)

Another fun event to add to the circus would be the act of my pregnancy brain. It barely lets me sleep at all sometimes!! I have allll day long to think of things I need to do, pack, prepare, etc... but my brain likes to keep these thoughts stored up all day, and share them with me at night. I can only share them outloud with Andrew for so long, til he's bored or asleep, and then I'm stuck with these thoughts all night. As of late I've been nauseated at night quite a bit, and for some reason my brain will choose this time to start going through a list of things in the fridge that are going bad because they sound gross to eat. SERIOUSLY?! Come on! This is NOT helping the situation. My brain will take any opportunity it can to start going off. Each time I wake up to roll over, use the bathroom or whatever it will start thinking. Oh and Andrew has to pee just about as much as I do during the night. It's his husband sympathy pregnancy thing I think. lol. So when I'm not getting up, he usually is...

Basically what I am getting to in this long post, is that I am tired. So tired I can't sleep. And even though I know, this too shall pass, and I only have a little while longer, it's been my hardest trial lately. I just had to journal about it. It seems easier to bare when I am able to vent. So as fun as this Circus has been, I'll be glad when it's over. And then I'll be kept up at night with a whole other slew of things, but these things will come from a sweet little bundle that I can see, and hold, and love, and I cannot wait!! And I won't complain...that much. ;)

***I'll end with some good news!! 38 week doctor appointment went GREAT yesterday! He's getting lower and lower, my cervix is soft, and my midwife THINKS he will come within this NEXT WEEK! YAY! But we'll see what Boston decides. We sure love him so much already!! :) ***